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Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Source

God is my source. My job is not.
God is my source. My job is not.

The past couple of years have been frightening for all of us. We've seen unemployment, foreclosures and bankruptcies skyrocket and the number of suicides escalate.

God is my source. My job is not.
God is my source. My job is not.

Well, this phrase started rumbling around in my noodle a few months ago, and I felt compelled to begin speaking it aloud. The firm I work for had already laid off several employees over the past eighteen months. I started wondering … “am I next?” More than once, I’ve pondered … “what would I do if it happens to me?”

On my way home yesterday, with tears streaming down my cheeks, the phrase suddenly came to mind again.

Except this time it’s for real.

Because there is no job.

My position was eliminated. There were no performance issues that caused this. Strictly a monetary decision. I’ve had the awful responsibility of being the bearer of this bad news to employees during two downsizing phases since this market mess began. Now I found myself on the receiving end of those awful words.

For the first time in my adult career, I am leaving a job because I was terminated. Every other job change has been my choice – finding a new opportunity, a step up. But this feeling is indescribable.

Feels a little bit like someone shoved me off a cliff.

As I poured out my heart to God, the Holy Spirit again dropped that phrase into my mind:

God is my source.
My job is not.

I prayed for reassurance, calmness and peace. It was then that I mentally tuned in to the words Mandisa was singing on the radio:

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
He is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning

Wow. Who says God doesn’t speak aloud to us anymore?

I now realize He has been preparing me all along for this traumatic change in my life. That phrase was dropped into my spirit ahead of time to soften my heart and mind to the possibility that I may have to live it and claim it.

God gave me that job. It is very clear to me that He placed me in that position nearly six years ago. I believe He now has something even better for me, and that He orchestrated this seemingly tragic event so that my eyes would be opened. I wasn’t looking for another job, so I may have missed the opportunity. He had to position me so I would be looking in the right direction to see that “new thing” that awaits me.

I am in covenant with The Father. God will honor His covenant with me.

He has promised never to leave or forsake me. And God never reneges on a promise.

It’s time to put on my battlefield boots and walk in faith. Get ready. I’m taking you along for the ride. My faith might get a little banged up. It might get bumpy, muddy or downright ugly at times, but God will deliver me through this trial. I’d appreciate you lifting me up in prayer when the Lord calls me to your mind.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Kim...my heart aches for you tonight...and I have already began to plead your name before the throne. In this economy things are so frightening...but the words God has given you are true...HE IS OUR SOURCE....this is a time you have to walk out your faith, but from experience I can say....He will never let you down. I will be praying for doors to open to you in unimaginable ways. And I'm here if you need a shoulder. Love you, girl!

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  2. AMEN. God is The Source and I admire you for standing, even if wearily and weepily - on His Promise.

    He'll never leave you, nor FROsake you. :-)

    I love you girl and you have been in my heart and prayers.

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