My Best Friend

Today marks seven years since I said “I do” to the love of my life, Craig.

In the summer of 2000, I met Craig – hold onto your hats! – on the internet. We exchanged a few emails and a couple of phone calls in the first week. Late one night, we spent nearly four hours on the phone, just talking about our lives. Without ever having laid eyes on him, I fell in love with his heart and his gentle spirit.

After years of running from God, without realizing it, I had turned from the broad road I was walking, and had taken the first step down the path that led back to Him.

I had spent the first twenty years of my adult life in a marriage that was doomed before the wedding day. A rebellious, know-it-all young woman, I thought I had it all under control. And tried to maintain that tenuous appearance for the next two decades. When I jumped out of the frying pan, I landed in the fire. Ironically, that’s exactly what it felt like … like I was living on the fringes of hell.

After many bad choices, many embarrassing situations, and too many wasted and forgotten moments, I heard what I now know was the Holy Spirit directing me to do something totally against my nature. Taking that course of action led me directly to Craig.

Once the Lord had the two of us together, He worked on both of us at the same time. We didn’t really have a chance. It was all over. We just didn’t know it yet. We married in 2002, but it was the fall of 2003 before we committed the rest of our lives to the Lord.

He is the godly man that I love to come home to every night. His is the ear that hears my heart, his is the hand that dries my tears. He is the first person I call when something wonderful or something awful happens or when I’ve seen a really neat bumper sticker. From the divine to the mundane, he hears, sees and knows it all. He knows my heart’s desires and the little things that drive me to the brink. His ears have the unique ability to filter out the whining, the harshness, the unlovely that comes from my mouth. I’ve often thought that he loves me like Jesus does … unconditionally.

He’s the one I want to wake up next to every morning for the rest of my life. I do not want to spend a single day on the face of this earth without him. Apart from my eternal salvation, he is the greatest gift God has given me.

In a world where many marriages are nothing more than a reason to throw an expensive party, I feel like the most blessed woman on the planet to have such a man as my husband. Grateful doesn’t even begin to describe it.

A Tribute to my Father

In a leadership class that I took under Pastor Mark a few years ago, we were given a homework assignment to write an essay. The topic was to about a person that we admired for demonstrating true leadership.

What you are about to read is that essay. I can think of no greater tribute to my Father than sharing this story from my heart on this Father's Day.

The Model of Leadership

For the past 50 years, I have had the privilege of knowing and learning from a truly great leader. He may not be known far and wide by millions of people, but he is a significant impact within his circle of influence. My father has always modeled responsible leadership in our home, in his workplace, and in the church where I grew up and where my parents are still active to this day.

I personally know no one else who has walked so consistently with Christ during my lifetime. He has been a man of integrity, honor, and discipline as long as I can remember. He has always given his all in everything he has been involved in.

During his 40+ year career at Modern Welding Company, he rose from janitor to Plant Superintendent. He was such an integral asset to the business that the company pleaded to hire him post-retirement on a contractual basis at an exorbitant rate of pay. My father might not be the most greatest mind to ever live, but it seems that he possesses a little thing called work ethic that is very rare and highly sought after. Daddy has always accepted any responsibility he was given and taken it very seriously. Looking back, I see now that he always did his job “as unto the Lord”. He gives nothing less than his very best. I am glad that I chose to adopt his work ethic as my own.

He is the very model of consistent Christianity in my life. My dad never changes. Not his values, not his morals, not his faith. He is respected, though sometimes not liked, because of his high standards. But even those that might not like him know that he can be depended on when others cannot. He is humble and always puts others ahead of his own personal desires and needs.

He loves to laugh and have a good time. As a kid, when we went to Disney World, my dad would embarrass my brother and me by skipping --- yes, I said skipping --- down Main Street after the parade. He always has a silly joke to break up a tense moment and has the ability to make a total stranger feel like they are conversing with an old friend. My dad has a distinctive, boisterous laugh; and he laughs often because he is unable to contain the joyful spirit within him.

He loves God’s Word. Every evening he read his Bible and meditates on the Word. When I was a kid, every Saturday afternoon he would set up all of his reference books and materials at the dining room table and finalize preparation for the Sunday School lesson that he would teach the next day. He studied and prayed most of the afternoon, then again after dinner and well into the night. He still does this to this very day.

He loves to sing to the Lord. He has always enjoyed leading the music service, directing the choir, singing with our family, or solo. He used to have my mother or me play the piano at home, just so he could sing along. Even when he was piddling around the house, he was singing or whistling a hymn of praise.

The most poignant memories I have of growing up are when my father cried. As a child, I didn’t understand. As a teenager, I was embarrassed that my father would show such “weakness”. As a young lady, I began to understand that his tears were heart-tears --- of either joy, conviction, or gratitude -- because of his wonder, awe and love for the Lord Who had reached down and saved his wretched soul.

I have always known what my dad stands for. Before asking, I knew what his answer would be because I knew that his standards didn’t waver. I thought he was excessively strict when I was a teenager. Now I know better. He knew that allowing me to push through the boundaries he had set was not in my best interest. Now I fully appreciate all that he endured while raising my brother and me. And more than appreciative, I am truly grateful to him.

He models service to the Kingdom of Christ. As music director and deacon for as long as I can remember, he is the one who the congregation always looks to for leadership. As pastors came and went, as they seem to do in a denominational church, my father was the one that the congregation looked to as they began a search for a new pastor. He has been with the same congregation through church splits, financial crises, building programs that spanned multiple pastorates, even nearly losing the new church facility due to lack of tithes and offerings to pay the mortgage. He has leaned on the Lord during all these circumstances. He has always believed that it is the Lord’s Church and He will cover and protect it. Even though he never wanted the responsibility or the infamy that accompanies his title-less position, he has always stepped up the plate to do what no one else would do. He has been the de facto administrator through at least nine pastorates in the past 50 years. He does it all … all the grunt work, all the untidy, tedious stuff, the business of carrying on a local church ministry between and under pastors. He is the one person that has always been there. He has never left the church and come back. He has never shrugged off responsibility. He has never said that he would not do something that needed to be done. My mother worries that he has become the congregation’s doormat. But I know that he’s doing it for The One Who is Worthy of his sacrifice and the Bride of Christ … not for the accolades of the congregation.

I remember a particularly dark time in my father’s life a few years ago when his mother died. She had been in a nursing home for years in Louisiana. Twice every year, my parents made the trek to visit Grandma. Since Grandma was confined to a wheelchair, my dad built a wheelchair ramp at the back of one of my aunt’s home so that he could retrieve Grandma from the nursing home and visit with her at “home” rather than in the impersonal nursing home. Family gatherings resumed at Aunt Helen’s when my dad visited, because he’d go get Grandma from the nursing home on a three-day pass. Each morning, he took her out for a walk. One morning, however, as he guided the wheelchair down the ramp, he slipped and fell. The wheelchair careened out of control and Grandma ended up on the ground with a broken neck. After surgery and a hospital stay of a few weeks, it didn’t take long for pneumonia to claim her life. I’ll never forget the profound grief in my dad’s voice the day he called to say that she had died. One of his sisters did not even want him to come to the funeral. She was very hateful and spiteful, laying the blame of Grandma’s death at Daddy’s feet. But he did not respond to her. He suffered intense grief and guilt in silence. At the funeral, a family that should have grieved together and comforted each other was divided and angry. I was outraged that my Aunt would heap blame and guilt on my father for this tragic accident. After all, he was doing for his mother what his siblings would not do … give her a glimpse of something outside the walls of that nursing home, sharing times with her at home again in her waning years. I was so angry that I grew to hate my aunt. Every time we discussed this, my dad would tell me that I must forgive her and pray for her, because she didn’t mean it. He had forgiven her immediately. I was not walking with the Lord at that time (obviously), and I could not for the life of me understand where he was coming from. His ability to forgive his accuser completely in the face of his innocence was so Christ-like … and I wouldn’t see it for my own anger. Now, I see that he was demonstrating Christ’s love and forgiveness on the cross – “forgive them, Father, they don’t know what they are doing.” My dad has always forgiven like that. This extreme demonstration of his unconditional love and forgiveness is forever seared into my memory and my heart.

No matter how far I’ve strayed from the Lord, no matter how I’ve embarrassed and grieved my dad by willfully living in the pit of sin during an awful period in my life, he has always love me and prayed for me. He has always been ready and willing to talk to me, to guide me, admonishing me with a gentle spirit to do what is right.

The servanthood, the love and laughter, the commitment, the songs of worship, the love of The Word, the unerring Godly standards, the unselfish forgiveness, the discipline, the unwavering faith in God, the consistency with which he walks through this life with Christ. Those attributes are the mark of a spiritual giant – a true leader. I want to be like Leon Jesse Jones when I grow up.

Upgrade

While downloading Internet Explorer 8 the other day on my computer, I was reviewing the touted enhancements, bug fixes, enhanced security and scads of new features in this new-and-improved version.

As I explored the new features, I kept thinking – “It’s about time they added that feature!” Visual searches, instant answers, smart-screen filter, view sites with ease, get things done faster, stay more secure, more functions, more security features, faster, easier, more, more, more …..

It all sounded so magnificent! Now I will certainly be able to get much more work done, and more efficiently at that!

Hmmmmm. Didn’t that very same thought run through my head with the release of Internet Explorer version 7 ….. and version 6….. and...?

That marketing crew at Microsoft sure does earn its keep. They’ve got us trained to start salivating at the very mention of an upgrade.

Isn’t it like that with everything we buy? It’s great when we first take it home from the store. We thought we wouldn’t be able to live without it. But within months - sometimes just days - it’s just not enough. If only it could do this. If only it had this feature. If only it was faster, less complicated. If only… Gotta get a better version.

Those guys at Microsoft are always looking to broaden the appeal of their products and have to work hard to keep releasing updates in order to keep us happy and continuing to buy and use their products. Better ways to accomplish tasks quicker and easier. Glitz and glamour. Bells and whistles. Features that you didn’t even know you needed are now things you can’t seem to live without. After a few years, the product has changed so much that the original is buried in the dust of progress.

Thank God He doesn’t have to update His Word to keep up with our everchanging circumstances. Rather than starting with a basic concept, then adding new features, building the product up, God’s Word is designed as complete and unchanging from the very beginning of time.

When we first explore, read and study the Bible, we are just scraping the surface. Too often, many Believers stop and camp right there, never getting beyond the top layer. They get just enough Bible to find salvation and redemption, the ten commandments, and the beatitudes. There is certainly nothing wrong with any of these things. But there is so much more waiting for the heart that wants more of Him.

It’s like an archeological dig. All of it is there already, we just have to dig to find out more. We don’t have to wait for the angels in programming to work the bugs out before the next level is released. It’s already there, waiting for us to desire the knowledge so much that we seek it out.

Archeological digs take months, sometimes years, to complete. There are weeks of painstaking, seemingly monotonous removal of earth – one teaspoon at a time – in order to uncover a small portion of the artifact. Among the diggers, there is exuberant celebration at these tiny-to-the-rest-of-the-world victories. What an unparalleled sense of wonder, awe and splendor they must experience when the dig is complete, the ancient artifact is recovered intact, cleaned up and ready to put on display.

We have the possibility for this type of mind-blowing, life-changing experience in our very laps.

Dig a little deeper. Layer upon layer. From glory to glory.

Instead of waiting impatiently for the next update to be released, it’s up to me to dig deeper, to explore with an open heart and the eyes of my soul. To get more, it’s up to me to pursue Him through His Word with all my might.

We could explore the rich depths of His Word for eternity and still never be able to grasp or understand it all, or use it up. His message of love and truth is infinite, will never need enhancements, bug-fixes, upgrades or updates. We will never stop discovering new information, new revelations, new nuggets, new encouragements, new treasures, new lifelines. We continue to find new features without downloading an upgrade or paying for the newest release. The deeper we delve into the Word and the very heart of God, the more wonder we experience and glory we uncover.

The Word of God: Deep enough for a scholar to explore for an eternity without exhausting the contents, yet simple enough for a child to grasp and embrace for a lifetime.

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ (The Word, according to John 1:1) is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Psalm 1:2
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

2 Timothy 2:15
Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Acts 17:11
These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.

The Orchid Parallel

For thirty years, I’ve had an obsession with growing orchids. I really hate to think about all the money I’ve wasted buying plants, potting materials, fertilizers, books, watering systems….
Could never get the environment just right. Too much light, not enough light, too cold, too dry, too wet. My mistakes were experiments in excess. With well-intentioned kindness and overbearing attention, I’ve sent many orchids to their death over the years. (If you grow orchids, you are probably questioning my intelligence at this point.)

My husband is the most amazingly patient, accommodating and enduring man on the face of this earth - for proof, look who he married! A couple of years ago, he relocated an old wooden swing set frame from the backyard to a shady home under the oak trees outside the kitchen door. We installed an automatic drip system and hung all my orchids there.

Orchids do not tolerate temperatures under 50 degrees, so every cold spell brings a flurry of activity. Remove everything from the breakfast table and bring in the orchids for the night … or the week. Depending on the projected forecast, they could stay on the table for several days or weeks. In and out. In and out. Weary of the rerun. But my history with these exotic plants reminded me of the ramifications of leaving them outside for even one cold night.

Cold and cool weather stayed on with us through early April this year. I was so ready to put the orchids on their hangers under the oak tree and leave them there until October. Being able to leave them out for several days at a time during February and March gave them a false sense of springtime. Blossom spikes began appearing with the promise of a wondrous spring display. Then the weather would turn cooler again and I’d have to bring them back inside. I was just heartsick that the budding flower spikes were so early – thinking they’d never survive this back and forth change of environment.

After the last cold snap in early April finally subsided, I put them back on their hangers under the oak tree. Within two weeks there were healthy flower spikes on five of the seven plants of flowering age. By mid-May, the blossoms started opening. At the time of this picture, one plant had 27 open blooms!

After thirty years of experimentation, I may have finally gotten it right.

I think of my spiritual growth. I think of all the times I nearly crashed and burned while experimenting with the excesses of the world. Never did get into the right environment. Never the right mix of spiritual food, prayer, and worship. My life was totally out of balance, in full tilt and headed for destruction. But the promise of God’s plan remained all along. I knew I was made for more, but just didn’t properly position myself to blossom in His garden. My roots were not strong enough to sustain me through the rough times. I neglected to come in from the cold of the world on more occasions than I care to count. That harsh environment nearly killed me. But the loving Hand of my heavenly Gardener sheltered me, never letting me die, but allowing me to be dormant for long periods of time.

Then I came to a point in my life where God showed me a crossroad. Down one road was certain death. The other road required a transformation that – up until that point - I had been unwilling to undergo. It required sacrifice and obedience. It required denial of the flesh. It required environmental control. Proper water, light and nutrition. Balance.

Funny how my life has kind of paralleled my experience with orchids.

Or maybe it’s not so funny.

There is no coincidence with God. He created all things, so it’s no surprise that He uses all of His creation to demonstrate to us His truths and remind us of His longsuffering patience and compassion for His children.

Benefits

As a human resources administrator, I am required to maintain the employee handbook, ensuring it complies with and mirrors current employment and labor laws. When a new employee starts work, one of the first items they receive is a copy of this manual. It sets forth the policies and procedures for office and personnel, conduct, ethics, forms and formats, disciplinary issues and … the benefits. No doubt this is the most popular section of this otherwise dry missive. While the rest of the information is important, it’s rather tedious reading and actually doubles as a great aid in relieving insomnia.

But when it comes time for vacation, paid sick time or insurance coverage, this is the section employees run to and study intimately.

Indeed, in an interview there are usually three things at the top of the prospective employee’s mind: selling their unique skill set and experience to the interviewer, pay, and benefits. The old what’s-in- it-for-me? Two of the three items are self-centered. It’s more about what I get if I work for you than what you get by hiring me. To be fair though, this makes sense because most people work because they need a paycheck - not because they are bored.

It is said that the Bible is the Believer’s manual for living: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. In it, you will find all the instructions for living right and the consequences for not doing so. There are procedural instructions for conducting ministry, personal finances, raising children, marrying and staying married. There are chapters that explain how to avoid potentially fatal errors, how to rectify mistakes, how to conduct one’s self in all circumstances, and what kind of attitude is appropriate. It is the Word of Life. It is the Believer’s Handbook.

One of my favorite sections in the Bible is the benefits chapter.

This is the chapter I run to when I get weary, beat up, talked about, embarrassed, slandered, pressed down and struck down. Walking on the path of faith isn’t always fun. It’s not easy – and very often is difficult, painful and tiring. Much like an employee who has come to a point where she is weary or sick, I run to the benefits chapter to remind myself just what’s in it for me.

He forgives ALL my sins.
He heals ALL my diseases.
He redeems my life from DESTRUCTION.
He crowns me with lovingkindness and tender mercies EVERYDAY.
He fills my mouth with GOOD things and renews my strength so I can soar like the eagle.
He provides JUSTICE to me when I am oppressed. (He’s got my back!)
He is merciful and GRACIOUS.
He is SLOW to anger.
He is abounding in MERCY.
He will NOT stay angry at me.
He does not punish me ACCORDING TO MY SINS.

This is a benefits package that is unmatched anywhere!

Unlike the employee manual at my office, this Handbook never has to be updated to reflect the latest legislation. God’s Word is the same yesterday, today and forever. We can take a great deal of comfort in this knowledge. The rules never change. And neither do the benefits.

Whenever you become weary in well-doing, just open your Believer’s Handbook to Psalm 103 and remind yourself of the out-of-this-world benefit package that is all yours.

Convicting Emails

Got this email this morning. God speaks to me through email a lot. He knows that I have a tendency to be compulsive about checking my email. Sometimes more compulsive about that than intentionally spending time with Him.

I felt a check in my spirit reading this:

Think back to when you met that man/woman that you just knew would be the one. Remember when you realized/admitted to yourself that you loved him/her. Now remember how much you wanted to act like you were in a movie, and yell to everyone in the football stadium "I love (fill in the name)!" You told family and friends how perfect he/she was; he/she was justwhat you were looking for.

Well, I told THE LORD that I love Him today.

And He said to me, "How much do you love me? You haven't told anyone how good I've been to you. You haven't shared how perfect my love is. You haven't spread the good news that I am always there to listen to your problems. You haven't told your family how I helped you pay your bills when you didn't have a high paying job, or how I got you a better one. You haven't shared with anyone how I took away that addiction that would have cost you not only your job, but also that man/woman that was just what you were looking for. So how much do you really love me?"So, I said I would share with my friends and family (for starters) just how wonderful, perfect, understanding, patient, loving, unselfish, considerate and forgiving GOD really is. He has blessed me with a family that loves me and friends that I can confide in. But even more than that, He has saved me from destruction I couldn't even see coming.He gave to me the peace of knowing Him, and He has never broken a promise. Truly, He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.And I stand in my stadium today to tell to you all, "I LOVE THE LORD!"

Telling folks that I love the Lord and how good He is isn't so much the issue for me. But showing Him that He's Number One in my life: consistently getting up early to spend quiet time with Him in the morning, consistently spending time studying His Word, consistently memorizing scripture so that it's branded on my heart. I do all these things, but my problem is consistency. I blame work, age, hormones, and hectic schedules, for my lack of consistency. But the truth is: I must discipline myself. Regardless of how I feel. Regardless of what time of the month it is. Regardless.

When I was dating Craig, I would go with just a few hours sleep so that we could make plans to be together. Thought about him all day, talked on the phone constantly. Nothing could get in my way. It's really easy to see just how those lame excuses stack up when I am driven by fresh, new, exciting love. (Greek: eros; Hebrew: dode; English: desire, passion, erotic)

What would my husband think if I left for work one single morning without kissing him goodbye and telling him I love him?

What would I think about his love for me if he did the same?

Just one single time. My feelings would be hurt.

God gives me new mercies every morning. He is faithful, even when I'm not. I want and earnestly seek that unquenchable fire in my spirit that drives me to consistency in a deep, intimate, consuming, single-minded relationship with Jesus Christ.

Steven Curtis Chapman's words say it best for me:

So capture my heart again
Take me to depths I’ve never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross
And let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love
That You’ve shown me
Cut through these chains that tie me down
to so many lesser things
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains

You are everything I want
And You are everything I need Lord,
You are all my heart desires
You are everything to me
You are everything I want
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession

No one ever said faith was fun

We were having dinner with several friends recently. The discussion centered around a particular venture in which several of us are involved. One of the fellows with us is a particularly pragmatic individual who analyzes every nuance of any movement or decision he makes – often to the point of seeming excruciatingly slow. As we discussed our plans, he was busy trying to find holes in our arguments. He refused to be easily convinced of the benefits of this endeavor. We playfully poked fun at him for being overly-analytical and joked that he should just jump out of the boat and walk on the waves. As we laughed together, another fellow looked at the foot dragger and said, “No one ever said faith was fun.”

Coulda heard a pin drop.

I had to think about that rather profound statement. Have I ever walked in faith and been able to say that it was actually fun? Walking in faith is walking into the unknown, the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable.

What about answering God’s call to be a missionary to an uncivilized tribe in the jungles of Africa? Stepping out of the boat in the middle of the sea as the storm churns the water and winds? Telling the king you will not bow down to him – but only to The One True God? What about tithing when there are more bills than money? Witnessing to that arrogant, foul-mouthed, agnostic co-worker? Any of these ventures sound like fun?

If it ain’t just a little bit scary, it probably doesn’t require faith.

God told Abraham to leave his homeland for an unknown land. God instructed Moses to go before Pharoah and demand the release of the Israelites. Joshua was promised the city of Jericho if the Israelites would march around the city walls, shout and blow their trumpets. Gideon went into battle against hundreds of thousands of Midianites with only three hundred men – and with trumpets, torches, and empty jars as their only weapons.

Each one of these men was probably labeled as crazy for their actions. And the scripture says nothing about them running ahead with the plan, all the while laughing, whooping it up and having a grand old time.

When I think of fun, none of these instances come to mind. Fun things are light-hearted, carefree activities. Fun takes no courage, commitment, or discipline. But acts of faith require all of these characteristics. Acts of faith are what books are written about – one particular Book comes to mind. Acts of faith warm our hearts and encourage us in our journey with Christ. Faith results in joy and peace.

Fun is momentary. Joy is eternal.

Look at Hebrews 12:2: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

His trip to Golgotha wasn’t fun. But He completed our faith for all eternity by allowing Himself to be crucified. For us. Why? Because our release from the clutches of Satan was the JOY that He had His eyes fixed upon. His JOY is eternal and He shares it with us.

You know what? I’ll bet that spending eternity in heaven with The Father, Son and Holy Spirit will be a little bit fun. What do you think?