Got this email this morning. God speaks to me through email a lot. He knows that I have a tendency to be compulsive about checking my email. Sometimes more compulsive about that than intentionally spending time with Him.
I felt a check in my spirit reading this:
Think back to when you met that man/woman that you just knew would be the one. Remember when you realized/admitted to yourself that you loved him/her. Now remember how much you wanted to act like you were in a movie, and yell to everyone in the football stadium "I love (fill in the name)!" You told family and friends how perfect he/she was; he/she was justwhat you were looking for.
Well, I told THE LORD that I love Him today.
And He said to me, "How much do you love me? You haven't told anyone how good I've been to you. You haven't shared how perfect my love is. You haven't spread the good news that I am always there to listen to your problems. You haven't told your family how I helped you pay your bills when you didn't have a high paying job, or how I got you a better one. You haven't shared with anyone how I took away that addiction that would have cost you not only your job, but also that man/woman that was just what you were looking for. So how much do you really love me?"So, I said I would share with my friends and family (for starters) just how wonderful, perfect, understanding, patient, loving, unselfish, considerate and forgiving GOD really is. He has blessed me with a family that loves me and friends that I can confide in. But even more than that, He has saved me from destruction I couldn't even see coming.He gave to me the peace of knowing Him, and He has never broken a promise. Truly, He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.And I stand in my stadium today to tell to you all, "I LOVE THE LORD!"
Telling folks that I love the Lord and how good He is isn't so much the issue for me. But showing Him that He's Number One in my life: consistently getting up early to spend quiet time with Him in the morning, consistently spending time studying His Word, consistently memorizing scripture so that it's branded on my heart. I do all these things, but my problem is consistency. I blame work, age, hormones, and hectic schedules, for my lack of consistency. But the truth is: I must discipline myself. Regardless of how I feel. Regardless of what time of the month it is. Regardless.
When I was dating Craig, I would go with just a few hours sleep so that we could make plans to be together. Thought about him all day, talked on the phone constantly. Nothing could get in my way. It's really easy to see just how those lame excuses stack up when I am driven by fresh, new, exciting love. (Greek: eros; Hebrew: dode; English: desire, passion, erotic)
What would my husband think if I left for work one single morning without kissing him goodbye and telling him I love him?
What would I think about his love for me if he did the same?
Just one single time. My feelings would be hurt.
God gives me new mercies every morning. He is faithful, even when I'm not. I want and earnestly seek that unquenchable fire in my spirit that drives me to consistency in a deep, intimate, consuming, single-minded relationship with Jesus Christ.
Steven Curtis Chapman's words say it best for me:
So capture my heart again
Take me to depths I’ve never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross
And let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love
That You’ve shown me
Cut through these chains that tie me down
to so many lesser things
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains
You are everything I want
And You are everything I need Lord,
You are all my heart desires
You are everything to me
You are everything I want
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession